Word out of Washington, D.C., today is the Declaration of Independence has gone missing from the National Archives. There are no suspects, but on an unrelated note, President Bush was spotted in Waco, TX, with a rolled up parchment and a sharpie waiting to get Robert Griffin’s autograph.
In fact, rumor has it that McCain and Obama have agreed to put the election on hold pending Griffin’s decision to graduate three years early and take over the leadership of the free world. One Pac 10 school on the west coast has even submitted an early proposal to get his presidential library.
Further evidence of the buzz around this Baylor football phenom was witnessed on my flight back from New York earlier today. Bruce Wayne was on the flight because he was on his way to Ecuador for an extended surfing vacation. As it turns out, Robert Griffin will handle most of the crime fighting in Gotham from here on. Commissioner Gordon was quoted as saying, “…he’s just got more of the intangibles I look for in a superhero.”
Even Paul McCartney, when interviewed by Rolling Stone magazine admitted that after watching Griffin’s first two collegiate starts, selling over a billion records seemed rather nugatory. “I guess some people were just destined to do great things and others weren’t. I just wish I could have met Robert Griffin before we signed with Brian Epstein…”
One final note worth mentioning, is the emergency meeting held earlier this morning at the Downtown Athletic Club of New York City. It seems all regional representatives voted unanimously that ‘Robert Griffin for Heisman’ was really more of a disservice to Griffin; so they introduced a new campaign called ‘Heisman for Robert Griffin’. They hope with enough support, he’ll accept.